The offense mind game

Have you ever been in a situation where someone claimed to be offended by you, when that was not your intention, and you felt the need to defend yourself? Did they still “felt offended” even after you’d explained that offense was not your intention?

That’s a mind game.

As we all know, offense is taken, not given. Therefore, when a person whines about “feeling offended”, they’re asking for an apology and, more importantly, to establish social superiority by putting you on the defensive, especially when the complaining and whining happens publicly (which almost always does). It’s just power play between any interaction with anyone.

Favorite themes of complaining: sexual jealousy, sexism, racism, religion.

What do you do when you find yourself in such a predicament? If you react and try to go along with the fake offense, you come across as unreasonable, insecure and, simply put, bad. If you try to defend yourself and say that it’s all a misunderstanding, you put yourself on the defensive, therefore, you lose “social credit”. The best thing to do it not play this rigged game. Simply call the “offended” out on what they’re doing. Because most of the time these games are triggered unconsciously, they will be amazed when you’ll call them out on it, when you realize what they’re doing before they do.

A recent example: lately I’ve been following the example of giving a compliment whenever you feel like giving one. Most people receive it well, unless they’re insecure and evil. I came across a sexist feminist who was “insulted” by my rather innocent compliment and said that I objectify women, I’m a misogynist, a sexist and a really bad person. If I tried to defend myself to say that it was a misunderstanding, I’d be playing the game. If I attacked her back, I’d be playing the game. I simply told her: “You’re trying to establish social superiority by putting me on the defensive for an illogical cause. Bye bye.” And although I see here often, I truly treat her as if she’s invisible. I don’t look at or talk to her at all. I don’t talk badly about her to common acquaintances either, because when she does that with me (and i know she does), she’ll appear to be the hateful bitch that she is.


4 thoughts on “The offense mind game”

  1. When humans are “offended” it is about judgement and assigning meaning to something someone said or did. And as a result we form an opinion or belief about someone else’s intentions. The “offense” is merely a trigger that restimulates a tired old story. That’s my 2 cents anyway. Hope it doesn’t offend you…

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Agreed. This assigned meaning has to do with the perceived intentions of what was said or done in the first place. This perception, which is never 100% accurate, because we can’t read minds, depends on subconscious thought algorithms. Insecurity seems to be the strongest one.


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